Movies

DVD Review: Witchcraft 13: Blood Of The Chosen

 

Witchcraft 13: Blood of the Chosen

The Midnight Horror Collection Vol. 3

Echo Bridge

 

 

Witchcraft 13: Blood of the Chosen is just f*#king awful.  I try to find positives in films, I respect honest failure, but this thing is just bad.  And yes, this is the 13th movie in a series.

Will Spanner is a doughy middle aged lawyer.  He’s also one of the most powerful warlocks in the world, though he rarely ever uses his magic.  There’s a coven of witches who are out to find Will, believing that by mating with him, they will produce a prophesied super-baby.

The movie consists of scene after scene of skanky women approaching Will and begging him to have sex with them. Interspersed with that are scene of the witches killing men who aren’t Will.  The plot line and dialogue taken right out of a porn movie.  The characters are all one-dimensional, and that dimension is flat, boring, and wildly unlikable.

I’m pretty sure the casting director just swung by the local strip club to pick up the female cast.  I base that assumption both on their appearance and their acting ability.  As bad as they are, they’re still better actors than the guy playing Will, Tim Wrobel, who is just dull and monotonous throughout.  The women are only asked to play skanky witches, which seems to come easily to them.  Will, on the other hand, is supposed to be the hero, and fails.

The production values are, again, porn quality.  It looks and feels like couple of ego-maniacal amateurs bought a cheap camera and shot the movie in their house.

There have been  a lot of bad movies in The Midnight Horror Collection Vol. 3, but at least with the others I could respect that the producers were TRYING to make a good movie.  There was effort and passion (as misplaced as it may be).  I felt none of that in Witchcraft 13.

This film was cynical.  They lazily shot boobs and blood under the assumption that their audience was too stupid to care about anything else.

The movie comes in a two disc set with four movies on each disc from budget distributor Echo Bridge.  This movie is presented in a non-anamorphic widescreen version that doesn’t look to great, though that may in part be due to cheap cameras and sets.