Movies

DVD Review: Breeders (1986)

 

Breeders

MGM

 

 

 

 

Breeders was written and directed by Tim Kincaid.  His mainstream directing career spanned three years, producing films like Robot Holocaust and Mutant Hunt.  Aside from that, he has had a far more successful career directing gay porn movies under the name Joe Gage, starting in the ’70s and continuing to this day.

A series of violent sexual assaults plague New York City.  Police Detective Andriotti is on the case, with the help of Dr. Gamble Pace.  Pace is baffled, the only physical evidence they can find on the victims is some mysterious black ooze, and they only thing they have in common is that they were all virgins (and wouldn’t you guess it, so is Dr. Pace), a fact which strikes fear into the hearts of all the untouched women of New York.  As Pace says, “It’s a case like this that makes me want to kill every man ever born.”

The structure of the film is alternating scene of women being attacked, and the cop and doctor talking about it.  Since we see the attack and perpetrator in the first scene, there’s no mystery from the audience’s perspective. Not much of one anyways.  We know the villain is a monstrous creature, though we don’t know it’s origins.

The monster is portrayed by a man in a fly mask and a lumpy wetsuit.  For most of the film, we only see fleeting glimpses, but I suspect that’s more to hide the mediocre make-up, than any stylistic goal.  There actually are some decent special effects in the movie, like when the monster breaks out of its human disguises, resulting in a gory scene of a man’s flesh being torn apart from the inside.

Gamble Pace is played by Teresa Farley, whose only other credit is in another Kincaid film, Bad Girls’ Dormitory.  She is, far and away, the worst actress I have ever seen in a mainstream movie.  It’s not that she acts poorly, it’s that she doesn’t act at all.  She just reads her lines in a completely monotone and emotionless way.  It’s like Stephen Hawkings, if he were a hot woman with big hair.

There’s a lot of nudity in this movie.  In Tim Kincaid’s world, whenever women are alone, they immediately take off all their clothes and set about doing their chores.  This goes on for a few minutes until the fly-headed man shows up and attacks them.  The attacks themselves are mostly off screen, so we’re at least spared that.

Breeders runs 77 minutes, which is really just lazy.  It’s not like the film has a tight narrative that it has to honor, Kincaid could have easily thrown in some more scenes of naked women wandering around to pad the run-time to a more respectable 90 minutes.

The anamorphic widescreen presentation looks quite good.  The audio is mono, and the only extra is the trailer.  One thing the DVD has going for it is that it’s really cheap.

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