DVD Review: Maid’s Secret: Welcome Home


Maid’s Secret

Welcome Home

Switchblade Pictures




Japanese AV superstar Maria Ozawa stars as Dracula, a descendant of a descendant of her more famous namesake.  She’s a vampire as well, but those genes seem to have been diluted over time, leaving her mostly human.  She now works at a maid cafe, hoping to find a man who can love her for what she is.

Normally I wouldn’t make a big deal out of this, but Maid’s Secret: Welcome Home features the worst-looking fake fangs ever to appear on film (and I’m including home-movies made by twelve-year-olds in that assessment).  I don’t understand how the producers of this film managed to fail on something so basic, and yet so integral to the character.  It’s like they suddenly decided on the first day of shooting to make her a vampire, then bought some white chewing-gum, molded it into something vaguely cone shaped, and stuck it on her teeth.

Dracula lives with another monster girl, a ‘mud-licker,’ who enjoys licking dirt off people’s bodies, and is friends with a talking wall.  The two girls work in a maid cafe (which is the only similarity between this and the previous Maid’s Secret film).

This is an erotic B-Movie, so expectations shouldn’t be that high, but there isn’t really much of a plot.  One of the things I liked about the previous Maid’s Secret movie is that it had a fairly decent, sweet story behind it.  Welcome Home is mostly just a series of events; and by ‘events’ I mean scenes with partial nudity featuring Maria Ozawa.

To that end, Maria Ozawa does well in the role.  She’s Japanese on her mother’s side, and French Canadian on her father’s, which makes her stand out a bit.  She is an attractive woman, and her acting (or what acting she is asked to do in this film) is perfectly fine.  The one exception being that when she smiles she makes this choppy, head-jerking motion.  Granted, those scenes usually involve awkward situations, so she may be portraying insincerity or discomfort, but it still looks a little weird.

Dracula girl’s vampire-ness is fairly mild.  Most of the things that kill traditional vampires only make her sick and she doesn’t drink blood at all.  The vampire qualities that she does have are integrated into the film in a fun and silly way.  I especially liked what happens when she tries to overcome her aversion to crucifixes.

This Maid’s Secret film doesn’t take the dark turn that its predecessor did (though it comes close), so it’s a lot less creepy.  On the other hand, it doesn’t come together as well as a whole.  There are a few nice scenes, and the women are beautiful enough to help the movie succeed in its base purpose, but it never rises above that.

The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen.  I’ve read some other reviews that say it’s non-anamorphic, which means there may be two different versions floating around.  I bought this recently, so presumably newer copies have the correct video.  It looks nice, it has the basic, home digital-video recorder look.  It’s Japanese-only with English subtitles, and there are no extras.


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