Review: Night of the Living Dead 3D

I have very little to say about this movie.  It starts the same as the original, with Barb and Johnny driving to a graveyard.  Upon arrival they find zombies.  Johnny flees, leaving Barb to run for her life.  Instead of going straight to the farm house, she makes a detour to a funeral home (what better place to escape the walking dead?) where she meets a grumpy Sid Haig, who tells her to piss off.

Then it’s on to the farmhouse, which now grows pot (cause this remake is like, totally edgy).  Ben, the African American protagonist of the original, is now a twenty-something white guy (because…).  You can tell that the people who made this thing were trying to ‘improve,’ or at least ‘modernize’ the original; but all they managed to do was make it dumber.

The DVD was 2D, so I can’t comment on the technical merits of the 3D, though there were a number of ‘Obnoxious 3D Shots’ throughout the film.  You know, like when someone holds something out to the camera (remember that old SCTV bit?)?

The acting ranged from monotone to okay, and the makeup effects were fine…ish.  The basic plot structure rips off that of Night of the Living Dead; though it manages to strip out all the tension and tack on an awkward ending.

Perhaps if they had created an original story, I would judge it less harshly, and commend it for its effort, if not the results.  But when you choose to remake a classic, you invite comparisons, and by that criteria, this movie failed.  It takes everything that was good about Night of the Living Dead and kills it; and then it injects a bucketload of terrible new ideas.

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